Monday, February 24, 2014

Mom Guilt- and getting over it.

So the hubs came home on Tuesday night and not a moment too soon. Single parent hood is not for me, even if this week we realized that Daddy is the one who makes the messes around our house.
After spending a whole week with Grayson he has become sort of attached at my hip, like lost it when I dropped him off at Nanas to go to work attached. Normally? The kid tells me to 'GO!' and waves bye faster than I can get his coat off of him. However after a full week of not being able to pee or shower alone this Momma was ready for a little break.  So Thursday night I went to Zumba- alone, for one whole glorious butt kicking hour. As I was walking out the door my kid was inconsolable in tears. Worst Mom Ever, right here.
Lovelies, it took all I had to walk down those steps and get into my car.  In reality? I knew he would be fine with his Dad .2 seconds after I walked out of the house. But when a certain blonde haired blue eyed boy is asking me to sit on the couch with him and says "No go, Mama?" Its really hard to leave him. I get this gnawing feeling in my gut, and I know its Mom Guilt.
Can we all just agree that Mom Guilt sucks hardcore?
In reality, we know our kids will be fine and they don't really need us there but when they want us and we choose (or have to be) somewhere else it seems like the worst feeling in the entire universe.
And when I decided to attend a girls night on Friday night with some of the best ladies in the world, I felt even worse. However I knew that if I didn't get out of the house and have some "me time" I would lose my head. So I went, and I had a great time. 
Its easy to say that one of the hardest parts of this Mom-Gig is trying to figure out the balance between Grayson time and Me time, and dealing with the dreaded Mom Guilt when I do need a little time to myself. 
So tell me ladies, how do you deal with the Mom Guilt? 

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Survivng- well, attempting to survive.

I've always respected single parents, but until this past week I had never been one.  The hubs is out of town on business and has been since basically last Monday night. One full week of Mommy/Grayson time with pretty much no help and I am B.E.A.T.
Seriously single Moms and Dads? WHOLE NEW LEVEL OF RESPECT.
Like there should be a statue somewhere in your honor and free baby sitting available for those moments when you just need a break. Or want to pee alone.
Now don't get me wrong, I love my kid and I do enjoy the fact that for the past week I've gotten all the snuggles and all of the mooches and attention.  Maybe its the fact that I'm not used to being a single parent, so I don't know how to accomplish the things that need to get done without help. Like taking the dogs out to go to the bathroom when your toddler is standing on the other side of the door screaming bloody murder, cooking dinner, running down the creaky steep basement stairs to switch laundry, taking a shower when you HAVE to get out the door for work in the next forty minutes, or shoveling the CRAP TON of snow that had to fall this week.  Usually there is someone else in the house to distract the toddler while these activities are taking place, but not this week.
So the theme of this week, lovelies, has been survival.  You want to eat four packs of fruit snacks at the front door while I shovel us a path to the car? Eat them.  You want to open and put an entire pack of minion band aids on mommy's legs while she makes dinner? Okay! Mommy needs to do laundry downstairs? Here, lets color with chalk on the kitchen floor! Woo!! Isn't this fun?! Mommy needs to shower, do you want to watch your 30th episode of Caliou in the past four days- SURE!!
Sometimes, you pick your battles and other times you don't.
I will say that since this week we have not had to send anyone to time out and haven't had any real meltdowns other than at bedtime. Bedtime is Dada time- and we haven't been happy that Daddy isn't here to read stories and play and snuggle before bed. Mix that with a tired toddler and we've had a few swats and "No Mama- DADA!" yells. All it takes is a quick snuggle and a "Momma misses Dadda too, bubba." for him to calm down. Then I distract him with a snack or another Caliou episode (why oh why does my child like this show- that kid is obnoxious) and all is right in toddler world. Our normal 9 PM bedtime has been closer to 11 or even 12 on the nights Daddy wanted to face time. Mommy gets up at 5 for work, so needless to say I am wiped out. I actually went to work on Friday with two different shoes on. Thankfully I keep a pair of  shoes in my closet at work, so I at least had something to change into. That same day one of my students actually told me I looked like I needed a nap, and when teenagers notice you look like the walking dead its a pretty bad sign.
I will say that the kid has been a breeze compared to the two neurotic dogs.  They saw a suitcase leave the house and they were not invited on the trip, so they have basically been psycho ever since.  Barking at every single noise (only after it gets dark of course), whining and jumping on a sleeping Grayson at 5:30 AM so I will feed them breakfast, knocking over the trash can every chance they get and refusing to go outside to go to the bathroom.  If I didn't love and adore them, I swear I would put them on the porch with a free sign and call it a day.
Hopefully the hubs will get home tomorrow- but if he doesn't please feel free to come over and find me. Ill be the Mommy covered in stickers coming up with reason 75 why I cant stand Caliou.
If you cant visit can you at least send wine?!